Saturday, July 12, 2008

When Is the Proper Time for a Gala?

I have been handed a sacred duty. West Coast BFF (aka Arcana) is getting married and has asked me to be a bridesmaid. I'm so honored and excited to be able to fulfill this role. :) A lot of girls think being a bridesmaid is simply wearing a dress and standing next to the bride on the Big Day, but it's so much more. You become a confidante, emotional support, a sounding board, a resource and a member of the team in charge of stress relief for one very special, frazzled lady. It's a big job, and I'm honored to have been asked.

The uniform representing this sacred duty should be fairly easy to find, since in this case there are just very simple instructions: an all-black cocktail dress, knee length. Beyond that, I can choose whatever dress I want. I'm really grateful she's chosen to go this route, because all of the bridesmaids have different body shapes, tastes and, well, budgets. This way, we can each wear what suits our own personalities the best. Plus, it also means we don't have wear some cookie-cutter design from David's Bridal. (I really don't like their dresses for plus sizes, mostly because I'm not flat as a board!)

I'll admit that when Arcana first told me this, I was apprehensive. I mean, I don't live in Los Angeles anymore. I don't think there are even any stores around here that carry just formal wear... except David's Bridal. (Have I mentioned I don't like them?) Little flickers of panic started dancing in the back of my brain, but I shushed them, thinking instead, of how awesome I will look when I'm wearing The Perfect Dress, and how I will be able to stand proudly at her side (or wherever she puts me) on her Big Day.

Right, I thought. I'd better get started early. The way I figured it, I had two options: shopping online or in person. Hmm... challenging choice. On the one hand, I don't like buying clothing over the Interwebby. I'm not good at eyeballing clothing from a 2x3 picture to tell if it is appropriate and if it'll fit me. The descriptions never tell you what the material feels like, and they almost never offer anything that would fit both my waist and my boobs. And quite honestly, I don't want to be throwing money into shipping (and possibly return shipping.) I want my dress in hand the day I pay for it. With sleeves. And a design that will look good on MY body type. (I'm so picky, huh? Well, dammit, this is for a special event. If I've been given free reign to look good, then I want to Look Good.)

The other option is to Go Shopping. Yeah... See, I live in West Virginia. And while I live smack-dab between the first and third largest cities in the state, that's really not saying much. At all. Today, I went up to Parkersburg (3rd largest), and visited numerous department stores, only to be told every single time, “Formal wear? Prom season's over. You can check the clearance rack, but I don't think there's anything left in your size.” They were right. There wasn't.

I felt myself starting to revert back about 10 years, to a time before my ex-husband showed me how to go clothes shopping. (Yes, that's right. I was SO BAD at shopping for clothes, I needed a man to show me how to do it properly. Granted he was raised by a single Mom, but still.) It wasn't that my taste had reverted, just an awful doom-of-ugly-clothing despair was rising in my throat. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or throw up. This was even worse than trying on every dress in the store and not fitting into any of them. There weren't any dresses left for me to try on!

As a last resort, I went to Lane Bryant (the fat lady store) to see if they either carry something I could use (they don't) or if any of the sales girls had ideas on where I could go instead. They suggested their website (of course) and David's Bridal. -sigh-

You know, there are a ton of stores back in LA that I could wander into, and they'd have exactly what I'm looking for. Grrrr.

Anyway, I walked out of that last store, my eyes glistening. If only, I thought. If only I knew someone who can sew, so that I can tell them what I want my dress to look like and then... Waitaminute. I know how to sew.

That's right! There is a third option! We (Americans) never think about it anymore, because we are so used to just buying things off the shelf, but it is possible for me to make my own dress, to my size, with my specifications, and I can get exactly what I want. Now, I am by no means an expert seamstress, but I have made my own formal wear before, and not to toot my own horn or anything, but people were impressed with A) my dress and B) the fact that I made it myself. And, as I always say, if I've done it once, I can do it again.

With that thought in mind, I dashed off to my local fabric store and within an hour, I had two designs picked out. One of them is even a VINTAGE design from the 1950s, when designers were still making clothing for women with CURVES!!! The other one, to be blunt, will be easier for me to make.

LOL In one moment's flash of inspiration, I went from having NO OPTIONS to too many!

I have to admit, I'm a little nervous about making a dress for myself, but I think I can pull it off. For one thing, I've got time. For another, before I cut an INCH from whatever fabric I choose, I'm going to make a muslin, which means I'm going to cut out and sew the entire dress in a thin, cheap cotton, just to make sure it fits properly. Then, when the muslin is fitted perfectly, I'll take it apart, and use THOSE pieces as my pattern.

Okay, yeah. I'm nervous, but I'm really excited! This is the kind of thing you read about in Regency Romances... having a dress tailor-made to your own body!

So, yeah. Problem solved. :)

... It just makes me wonder. I mean, I know there are wealthy people out here-- folks who would have a reason to wear formal wear: politicians (state capital, hello!), mine & factory owners and who knows what else. So, when all these fine folk decide to get together and have a shindig, do they only hold their galas during Prom season?

Peace.