The FOOD Network?!

Arcana asked me a few weeks? months? ago how my magickal studies are coming along, and guiltily, I admitted that I haven't been doing them, like, at all. A million excuses came to mind, but I'm getting better at recognizing the difference between an excuse and a reason. (Probably didn't stop me from telling her a couple, though. In all honesty, at this point, I don't remember, but I know myself well enough to guess at a general response.)

Whether or not she realizes it, the conversation has stuck with me this whole time. I mull it around, and every so often, I consider pulling down my workbooks. Hasn't happened in the almost-two years I've been here, but I've got some grand intentions. Anyway, today, I once more pondered this behavior, and what it came back to was my Great Experiment and the Law of Attraction.

See, as Oprah puts it, the Law of Attraction is simply that whatever you focus on, expands. Abraham-Hicks say that Law of Attraction is “That which is like unto itself is drawn.” Oprah's is less of a mouthful. :)

So why is my magick not expanding? Why is it that any time I consider doing it, it feels like pulling teeth? Because I'm not focused on magick right now, duh! I'm focusing on finding foods that are healthy and delicious (Read: foods that are healthy, and foods that are delicious-- okay, more emphasis on delicious, if we're being honest. I think I still have mental blocks about the two being non-exclusive.) I think a lot about the mental and physical state of The Mad Cow, about generally keeping costs down, and about things that will and/or do make me happy.

And here's what I've got.
1. Tons of newsletters for different organizations (health, environment, catalogs)-- but all of them offer free recipes!

2. A Great Big Book of Intake/Output for The Mad Cow. (This is the most organized I've been with him since I got here.) I also have a general knowledge of which behaviors mean “healthy Poppa” and which ones mean we're a step away from heading back to the hospital. (It can be difficult to tell, since the most information I get from him verbally is that he's not worth a nickel.)

3. A small pile of stuff that I've sewn after thinking, “I wish I could buy me a...” / “I wish they made a customized...” AND a garden growing in the backyard. (If you receive holiday gifts from me, chances are, you'll be getting something from one of the two this year, if everything goes according to plan.)

4. A small armada of techniques that, when properly applied, help me stay centered, peaceful and grounded. (The trick here is to remember to use them when I'm freaking out, but I'm getting better at that.)

And what does this tell me? :) My focus right now is very earthy. To use the terminology from Abraham-Hicks, I'm not vibrating at a level with high magick, which is why I'm not doing it.

The neurotic me, of course, started freaking out as soon as I realized that. “Why aren't I more magickally inclined? I need balance with ALL the Elements, not just one. I mean, is it okay for me to be earth-bound right now? Shouldn't I--” And that's where I stopped it. Shoulds and Shouldn'ts are holding less power over me these days.

The fact of the matter is, I'm in Earth mode right now, and that's okay. I'm the seed that's been planted in the earth's womb. All sorts of growing is happening, and when I'm ready to sprout, THEN there will be Air and Rain and Sun. For now, there's Earth. ... And manure to help me grow. ;)

On a related note, yanno how I don't watch TV? Today, after I put The Mad Cow to bed, I was working on sewing his (for lack of a better term) wheelchair backpack, and decided to have some background noise going while I worked. To my surprise, the MOST INTERESTING show I could find at that time was on the freaking Food Network-- a channel I have never before been interested in. Of course, once the show about how to make sticky buns and crepes ended and the one about getting voted off the kitchen island came on, I moved on... and found a movie (on another channel I generally avoid) that I've been thinking about for a while. Heh. Law of Attraction, baby. ;)

Peace.